How to Say Sorry the Right Way

Here's why your “I’m Sorry” doesn't work, and how you can fix that.

"I'm sorry you feel that way" isn't the same as "I'm sorry I made you feel that way."

I know—it’s tricky.

Apologizing is hard enough on its own, but what makes it even tougher is that not all apologies heal. Some can actually make things worse. And the worst part? We don’t always realize when we’re doing it wrong. I'm guilty as charged. 

Take this example: 

❌ “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Maybe we genuinely want to make amends, but this might come off as a way to avoid responsibility. 

Now compare it to this:

✅ “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. That wasn’t my intention, but I see how my words/actions hurt you.”

See the difference? The first one deflects, while the second one owns up to the impact of your actions. And that’s what makes an apology meaningful.

Why a Real Apology Matters

A sincere apology isn’t just about saying “sorry.” It’s about rebuilding trust, showing genuine respect, and taking responsibility for your actions. 

When done right, a good apology repairs broken feelings and strengthens the relationship or friendship. But when done poorly, it can do the opposite, like cause more resentment or deepen the existing misunderstanding. 

🚩Signs of a Bad Apology

Here are some types of apologies that can cause more harm than good: 

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